Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
