If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
