Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
