I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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