You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize