Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
