I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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