Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you had me at cake vodka
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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