I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
