I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So many bounce houses so little time
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
