I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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