I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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