A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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