I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
