I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
