I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize