drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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