I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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