remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
