Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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