y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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