lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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