idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
