In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
