I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
