how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
