I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
