i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
