my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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