I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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