she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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