We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
