im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
