i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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