were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
