take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
