We're facebook friends in real life
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
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