I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
