I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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