glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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