Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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