drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
