We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
His hands were made for my vagina.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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