Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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