During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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