so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
