And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
