fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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