Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
