the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
