If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
