There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
