i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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