my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
