I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Barsexuality is the new black.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
