The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
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Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
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