Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
