One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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