i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
