I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My life is pants optional.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
