I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
