So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
