so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
