someone threw a dead crab at me
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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