We should be called the Road Head Warriors
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This is my gift to your gina
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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