Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
