sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
